Friday, October 23, 2009

Thinking...

As I sit in front of my computer, sipping coffee and trying to concentrate on what I'm typing, my mind's drifting away, enveloped by a cloud of thoughts. Tried as hard as I have to control it, I finally came to the conclusion that the mind functions on completely its own terms. You can try to curb its instinct, but in the long run that really affects you even worse than it ought to. The best you can do is find a reason for every single thought that occurs, which results in even more thinking. So, the mind embraces you into a vicious circle by the simple process of generating a thought that's so strange even to your own self, that you need to find a reason for the mere existence of that thought. The implication being that you can never let yourselves live a simple life. It just seems converse to the very nature of human beings that they live a life full of simplicity, without being worried about one thing or the other. Every single droplet you try to maraud from the cloud surrounding you, leads to another one and another one, the end result being that you start drowning in the flood by the time you're done.
To every problem you face, you find a separate myriad of these evil cronies, waiting to be sighted by the bright lights of your mind. Searching for a solution as you are, you find yourselves indebted to doubts and consequences that earlier did not show a sign of their presence. The problem gets even more complex than it seemed initially, and then you have to resort to crisis control, wherein you try to find that one thought that simply seems to suit you the best. This task is not the simplest of them all, and yet when it is somehow accomplished with more strain on your brain, you seem to have found some sort of a solution, or so you hope. Then comes another added characteristic to your hope, stubbornness. Once you make up your mind on the path to follow, no one's better sense could prevail upon you to abandon the path you've chosen, until and unless that person somehow convinces you he's God( in some cases that still might not be enough though). If the path you choose does lead to even a part of the problem being solved, you pride yourself on the choice you made, but when it leads to another problem because of its outcome, or worse still, it makes the original problem more profound, you just end up damaging your own psyche, and criticize your stubornness in hindsight. Ironically, the droplet of hope and direction you were trying to find is what leaves you high and dry in the desert of life, while another new cloud starts meandering overhead.
Thinking it seems is hazardous more often than never, and when you've nothing else to do, you find some existent or non-existent problem in your life, and let this hazard damage it to an extent that you're living with both the problem and the scar this procedure leaves on your mind. To still think of it, Thinking was supposed to be a gift that separated the human race from all other species. And here I am, sitting and thinking about 'Thinking' . Strange, but true. As someone rightly said 'An idle mind is the Devil's Workshop'.